Affairs begin for a variety of reasons. The possible motivations are nearly endless, but they include:
(1) increasing emotional distance from one's spouse
(2) irrepressible horniness
(3) boredom
(4) longing for that 'magic' spark
(5) anger (retaliation affair)
(6) desire for human touch (typically resulting from a frigid marriage)
First, be warned. Have an affair is often an absolutely shitty experience. You may go into it thinking it will just be about sex. For some, this mindset of mechanical fucking is achievable. For others, the emotional strings that come with physical intimacy can cause real problems. Consider this story, taken from an acquaintance's email with her permission:
"I dove in head-first, but with the intention of keeping my marriage intact. My sex life with my husband had become incredibly routine and boring. Quite frankly, I felt under-appreciated. And while I knew I was very attractive to the opposite sex, my husband didn't make me feel that way.
I found my lover on Craigslist. He was wonderful (intelligent, good looking, charming, and good in bed). We met for drinks twice before getting a hotel room. The experience was exhilarating, the chemistry incredible.
We started emailing every day, then it moved to IM'ing, then sneaking out of the house to make phone calls. My husband, who is not particularly attuned to this stuff, started to notice. I spent a lot of time on my laptop, typing away with my back to the wall.
Living a double life is hard. My feelings for my lover intensified. I could tell me wanted more from me than I could give. I had made it clear that I wasn't leaving my marriage. After six months of increasingly passionate encounters (and a few very close calls), I just couldn't take it anymore. I was approaching the point at which I could no longer stomach the deception. I had to end the affair, and I found myself distraught (to say the least) and more distant from my husband than ever. I had fallen in love with my lover, and I had to let him walk away. It still hurts. My advice: Proceed with caution!"
So there you have it, from someone who's been there. I know of others who have had good experiences, but these good experiences often entail the realization that a life-change is on the horizon. In other words, those that had a "good" experience often discovered that they needed to leave their marriage, and that's exactly what they did.
More to come...
Craigslist Lingo -- A Primer
The first time you browse the 'casual encounters' section of Craigslist, you will likely come across terms you understand. You might make an educated guess based on context, but I'll spare you the trouble. After hours of intensive research, this is what I've come up with:
BBC = Big Black Cock
BBW = Big Beautiful Woman
HWP = Height-Weight-Proportionate
VGL = Very-Good-Looking
Party Favors = Drugs
NSA = No-Strings-Attached
D/D = Drugs and Disease (as in D/D free)
BDSM = BDSM is a combination of 3 acronyms, BD for Bondage Discipline, DS for Domination and Submission and SM for Sadomasochism
Femdom = A couple in which the dominant partner is female
I'm sure there are many more definitions, but I'll leave it be for now. Now you at least have enough knowledge to figure out what is being discussed in those juicy posts.
BBC = Big Black Cock
BBW = Big Beautiful Woman
HWP = Height-Weight-Proportionate
VGL = Very-Good-Looking
Party Favors = Drugs
NSA = No-Strings-Attached
D/D = Drugs and Disease (as in D/D free)
BDSM = BDSM is a combination of 3 acronyms, BD for Bondage Discipline, DS for Domination and Submission and SM for Sadomasochism
Femdom = A couple in which the dominant partner is female
I'm sure there are many more definitions, but I'll leave it be for now. Now you at least have enough knowledge to figure out what is being discussed in those juicy posts.
The Sexual Supermarket (aka Craigslist) - A Primer
To the middle-aged mother with two kids and a 15 year marriage who is reading this: confess, you are a closet CL surfer. And you, the perpetually horny 21 year-old college student: you spend far too much time browsing the mw4m ads in hopes of scoring a threesome.
If you haven't been introduced to the casual encounters section of Craiglist, allow me the honor. While millions upon millions have relied on Craigslist to rent or lease an apartment, sell a piece of furniture, or find a job, only the more adventurous venture into the carnival-like atmosphere of the the casual enounters zone. Looking for another couple who is ready and willing to swap partners? This is the place for you. Do you fancy being beaten with a wet noodle by a nursemaid while wearing a diaper? No problem. Are you a woman who is determined to find a man with a ten inch penis? Easy. Are you a man with a penchant for big women? You might get lucky.
Before examine the phenomenon that is Craigslist, why don't you take a look around. Go ahead. Don't be shy. Here's the link to the SF Bay Area casual encounters section.
Casual Encounters
Unless you're a veteran, you might have questions about some of the terminology that's being thrown around. That will be the subject of my next post.
Let's talk about how this 'casual encounters' section can possibly exist. After all, isn't Craigslist one of the most visited sites on the web? Why yes, it is. Don't most people find the thought of soliciting partners for wife-swapping and group sex distateful. Why yes, they do. So what gives?
Craigslist is the perfect snythesis of Bay Area social liberalism and hands-off management. Craigslist users can vote down posts they find inappropriate. Yet somehow the incredible raunch on the site not only exists, but flourishes. Amazing.
If you haven't been introduced to the casual encounters section of Craiglist, allow me the honor. While millions upon millions have relied on Craigslist to rent or lease an apartment, sell a piece of furniture, or find a job, only the more adventurous venture into the carnival-like atmosphere of the the casual enounters zone. Looking for another couple who is ready and willing to swap partners? This is the place for you. Do you fancy being beaten with a wet noodle by a nursemaid while wearing a diaper? No problem. Are you a woman who is determined to find a man with a ten inch penis? Easy. Are you a man with a penchant for big women? You might get lucky.
Before examine the phenomenon that is Craigslist, why don't you take a look around. Go ahead. Don't be shy. Here's the link to the SF Bay Area casual encounters section.
Casual Encounters
Unless you're a veteran, you might have questions about some of the terminology that's being thrown around. That will be the subject of my next post.
Let's talk about how this 'casual encounters' section can possibly exist. After all, isn't Craigslist one of the most visited sites on the web? Why yes, it is. Don't most people find the thought of soliciting partners for wife-swapping and group sex distateful. Why yes, they do. So what gives?
Craigslist is the perfect snythesis of Bay Area social liberalism and hands-off management. Craigslist users can vote down posts they find inappropriate. Yet somehow the incredible raunch on the site not only exists, but flourishes. Amazing.
Introduction to Love, Sex, Life
Is this blog for you? Here is a simple five question quiz which will help you determine whether the subject matter of this blog might hold your interest:
Given a choice of how to spend my Friday night, I would:
(A) Squeeze in a few more hours of work
(B) Go out with my friends
(C) Flirt shamelessly with my new lover over a glass of wine
(D) Enjoy four hours of toe-curling sex
Of the following topics, I find this the most interesting:
(A) Grammar
(B) Politics
(C) Philosophy
(D) Human sexuality
I believe that love is:
(A) An illusion
(B) An afterthought triggered by the primal urge to procreate
(C) A physiological response engendered by genuine feelings of devotion and caring
(D) An unstoppable force that defies explanation
The following topic of discussion approaches the boundaries of my comfort level:
(A) Sex (in general)
(B) Oral sex
(C) Anal sex
(D) Group sex
The following statement most closely approximates my own belief:
(A) Adultery is a deadly sin which will undoubtedly result in eternal immolation on the lakes of fire
(B) Those who engage in extra-marital are acting in a morally reprehensible manner
(C) People choose to have affairs for a variety of reasons, and while some of those reasons may be compelling, those who seek extra-marital sex will end up causing harm to themselves or their spouse
(D) The deception and violation of trust associated with having an affair is what is truly damaging, not the act of having sex with another human being. Judging people based on their sexual practices is useless and damaging.
Now add up your point total, using the following key:
-1 point for each A
-2 points for each B
-3 points for each C
-4 points for each D
If you scored between:
-5 and 8 points, you should cover your eyes and shut down your computer immediately
-9 and 12 points, you may not find this blog particularly interesting (and will be offended)
-13 and 18 points, you will find some of the posts on this blog a bit too candid
-19 and 23 points, you will find many of topics of discussion interesting, though blush-inducing
-24 and 25 points, you have arrived at your new online home
-25 and 30 points, you need to stop snorting glue and learn to count
Given a choice of how to spend my Friday night, I would:
(A) Squeeze in a few more hours of work
(B) Go out with my friends
(C) Flirt shamelessly with my new lover over a glass of wine
(D) Enjoy four hours of toe-curling sex
Of the following topics, I find this the most interesting:
(A) Grammar
(B) Politics
(C) Philosophy
(D) Human sexuality
I believe that love is:
(A) An illusion
(B) An afterthought triggered by the primal urge to procreate
(C) A physiological response engendered by genuine feelings of devotion and caring
(D) An unstoppable force that defies explanation
The following topic of discussion approaches the boundaries of my comfort level:
(A) Sex (in general)
(B) Oral sex
(C) Anal sex
(D) Group sex
The following statement most closely approximates my own belief:
(A) Adultery is a deadly sin which will undoubtedly result in eternal immolation on the lakes of fire
(B) Those who engage in extra-marital are acting in a morally reprehensible manner
(C) People choose to have affairs for a variety of reasons, and while some of those reasons may be compelling, those who seek extra-marital sex will end up causing harm to themselves or their spouse
(D) The deception and violation of trust associated with having an affair is what is truly damaging, not the act of having sex with another human being. Judging people based on their sexual practices is useless and damaging.
Now add up your point total, using the following key:
-1 point for each A
-2 points for each B
-3 points for each C
-4 points for each D
If you scored between:
-5 and 8 points, you should cover your eyes and shut down your computer immediately
-9 and 12 points, you may not find this blog particularly interesting (and will be offended)
-13 and 18 points, you will find some of the posts on this blog a bit too candid
-19 and 23 points, you will find many of topics of discussion interesting, though blush-inducing
-24 and 25 points, you have arrived at your new online home
-25 and 30 points, you need to stop snorting glue and learn to count
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